When your pubic hair's on fire, something's wrong
When you think you're the Messiah, something's wrong
When you mistake a plane for Venus, something's wrong
When your girlfriend's got a penis,

Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...

When you like music more than life, something's wrong
When you start sleeping as you drive, something's wrong
When you're favorite drink is thinner, something's wrong
When you're proud to be a sinner,

Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...

When a canary drives a tractor, something's wrong
When your president's an actor, something's wrong
When your jacket's plagued with dandruff, something's wrong
If you think that this song matters,

Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...

Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...
Something's wrong...